After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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