Whod you bang
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
