Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
