It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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