Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
