She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This is the high leading the old right now
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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