To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
