...so i touched it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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