Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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