cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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