I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
