Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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