I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
