I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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