That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
