Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
