so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
