I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
