My hair reeks of homosexuality.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it because I queefed?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize