You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
