you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
