if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
