I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think people are normalizing furries
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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