If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
