i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
