There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
