i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
