Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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