I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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