Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
