I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
