those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
