Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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