Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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