Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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