Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
