On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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