oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
