Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
this will be a night to untag.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
