Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
