Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
