That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you never un-have a 4some
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
