I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
