I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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