He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
BRING THE BAGELS
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
