That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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