I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
