from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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