it wasn't lemon gatorade
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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