my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
