thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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